I wanted to be part of my Dad’s funeral service and to be honest I always thought I would sing (well record something to be played in Church). But when it came to it, I just couldn’t do it. But I was able to do something that I have not been able to do in a very long while – I was able to write something for him.
I love writing, expressing things by writing them down. I have always known I am not the best writer in the world, but I write for myself and I enjoy it. But this time is was different. I wanted to do my Dad proud.
We decided that the Children would not come to their Granddads funeral. At 3 and 4 neither me or my Husband believed it was appropriate for them to be there, but I wanted them to have a part in the service. So I spoke about my Dad, and about what an amazing Granddad he was and I wanted to share what I said, so here it is. I hope I did do my Dad proud.
“Visiting my Mum and Dad at the weekend wasn’t a new thing, but this time is was different, we had a secret to share, when I say share, it needed to remain a secret for a while longer (which was NEVER going to happen once they knew!), but we wanted to share this with them before anyone else knew. I have never been more scared in my life, I knew my Mum would be pleased but I had no idea how my Dad would react.
Nothing could have prepared me for his reaction when we said we were expecting our first child. He burst into tears………he actually cried, sobbed in fact!! This told me exactly what an amazing Grandfather he would be, and he was. He was at the hospital as soon as Molly was born despite my Mum being poorly and unable to come herself he was there and proudly cuddled and posed for photos with his Molly! He was there for me when I was shattered and wanted to go round and moan about how hard it all was and he was there after baby groups when I fancied a cuppa. I saw a different side of him when he became a Granddad, there was life in his sparkly eyes again. When Alfie came along, once again Dad doted on him, Alfie’s words to describe his Granddad a couple of weeks ago were ‘Granddad is my bestest friend in the whole wide world’ this comment was followed by a sneaky visit to the hospital after being told the children were not allowed in where Alfie would not let go of Granddad despite how much we pleaded with him that it was home time and he had too – perhaps he knew what was to come?
The children are not here today as I didn’t think it was fair to bring them, they don’t fully understand, but they were such a huge part of my Dad’s life and brought him so much joy in his last years that I wanted them to play a part in the service, hence why I am stood here now. Over the past few days I have been asking Molly and Alfie what their favorite things about Granddad were, and I wanted to share with you today just some of their answers.
I love the sweets he keeps on his desk he shares them with me when Grandma is not looking!
I love watching Peppa Pig with him.
Great Big Cuddles, Granddad gives the best cuddles.
Granddad’s tickley beard, it tickles when he gives me a kiss goodbye.
Sharing Granddad’s breakfast in the mornings. He has yummy breakfasts
Sharing lunch together, especially sandwiches’, Granddad loved having sandwiches’ with us.
One thing that I remember is my Dad constantly reminding me about a new Children’s show on Cbeebies when it started, he rang me three times the afternoon that Old Jack’s Boat was on to make sure I didn’t forget to put it on for the children – they loved it and still remind me now how much Granddad likes it too!
My Dad was not only a lovely Dad to my and my brothers but he truly was a lovely Grandfather and Molly and Alfie will miss him dearly.
I found this poem online this week that sums everything up quite nicely for me and I would like to share it with you today -
Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.”