It feels like a lifetime since I sat and actually wrote a blog post. Things have been mad here (as always) and my blog has been totally ignored (as always). There simply are not enough hours in the day.
This year has started out so strangely. We started off celebrating, this was going to be a great year for us, last year was tough, really tough, my Husband was out of work for most of it and we had some really hard times. 2013 was going to be different. We had regular money coming in for the first time in ages towards the end of last year, the work was good, the hours were decent. It was all so ideal and there was even talk of them taking him on permanently in the New Year.
Perhaps it is our own fault for getting too comfortable and daring to think that this might just work out for us? Who knows. Anyway, after months of working in the same place, in January the work dried up and my Husband is now lucky to be getting 2 or 3 days a week. Looking elsewhere for work at this time of the year is like looking for a needle in a haystack. 2 days a week is not going to pay our bills – in fact it doesn’t even come close. So we have started 2013 in much the same way as we did 2012, with uncertain times ahead.
Lack of sleep is not helping (I will talk more about this in another post) but for the first time in a long time I am struggling to find the positives. I am someone who just gets on with it, I always have been. Tough times happen you just have to deal with them and move on and in the grand scheme of life this really is just a temporary blip, but as much as I keep telling myself this, keeping positive is hard work. Work, housework, washing, bills, money (well lack of it) job hunting, kids, sleepless nights, it is all so consuming, sometimes I feel like I am drowning in it all.
I am sat here in the house alone for the first time in I don’t know how long, everyone is out and I have time to gather my thoughts and write this post (to be fair it is more of a rambling I think rather than a post but I am doing my best!). It is so quiet and peaceful but I look around and it is chaos everywhere, toys, washing, cleaning that needs doing. I hate chaos, I only work in an organised environment, if only someone could give me an extra couple of days in a week (just for this week) then I think I might just be able to claw back some normality and catch up with myself a little bit. Obviously this is not going to happen you can’t magic extra days no matter how hard I wish for it, so the only option is to pull my finger out and stop feeling sorry for myself I guess?!
So this explains why I have been a bit quiet lately, who knows when things are going to change for us, but I feel a bit better just for writing it all down – funny how that happens, who ever would have thought blogging could be therapy?! I am hoping my positive attitude comes back really soon, I am desperately looking for it and missing it a lot, so if anyone does happen to see it please send it home!